Ayurveda and Sexuality

(rushing water) Let's talk about our sexuality and what ayurveda has to say about this. I think this is a really important topic, and a topic that perhaps doesn't get as much press as required. Ayurveda says that all energy is sexual energy. All energy is creative energy, and so we should feel comfortable with the fact that we are sexual creatures, that every cell in our body is continually making love to itself and then destroying itself. This is the natural realm.

It's natural that we have sexual desire. It's natural that we want to connect to it in a deeper way. One of the main ways that we can connect to this desire is through our own svastha. You'll remember that word from our discussion on "What is ayurveda?" Svastha means that I am seated in myself, right? When I am seated in myself, I'm able to actually access this creative potential that's already there.

One of the best ways to get there is through my daily routine. When ayurveda talks about sexuality and libido and how to be more sexy, if you will, what they continually mention is to just do basic daily self-care. That when a man or woman is taking care of her skin, when she's taking care of her daily food needs, when she is cleaning her body as it needs to be cleaned, that she will be sexy. It has absolutely nothing to do with what we look like, but it's how we're caring for the inside of ourself, way more than any external application of a cream, or a make-up, or even the latest workout technique. One way of really thinking about it is if I want to be sexier, then I need to deepen my breath.

If I want to be more vital, if I want to be in tune with my sexual energy, then I need to deepen my commitment to an absolute, monogamous, long-term, love affair with my own being. Right? Then when I'm in that, then this natural radiance, beauty, the light and luminosity that actually draws people to me will be there and available for me. These are just some basic ways of tapping into more of a healthy relationship with our sexual energy and our creative energy. The other way is- the ancients talk about tapping into sexual energy is to, I love this, avoid the intolerable roles that we're playing in our life.

In other words, getting real about what you are doing with your sexual energy everyday. Remember, all energy is sexual energy. We don't differentiate between painting a painting, having a baby, making love, making dinner, starting a business, doing a yoga practice, meditating. All of those things require our vitality and our energy. So, if I am using my precious life force doing something that I'm not in love with, then I am leaking sexual energy all day long.

So, if you're listening to this and you're wondering why I don't have a libido or why I don't have sexual desire, perhaps, with a partner, one of the reasons could be that you aren't enjoying the life that you have every single day, that your work isn't bringing you into that sexuality, that sensuality, that creativity with life itself. So, avoiding these intolerable roles and getting really real about them. Another thing we do is to be radically self-honest about our relationships. A lot of the times we can hear complaints about our sexuality in regard to someone else. This is another way of thinking about these intolerable roles.

Am I in relationship, perhaps with a partner, perhaps with a job, perhaps with anything in my life, where I do not feel fulfilled? If there's that lack of a bond, then the sexual energy can become stagnant. Another thing that we can look at is just our basic, it may seem simple, but our basic elimination patterns. When clients come to me and they ask about their libido, their sexual energy, moving from their creative center, honestly, one of the first things I ask them is, "How are your daily bowel movements? "Are you going to the bathroom daily?" They look at me shocked.

Right? What does my daily elimination pattern have to do with me feeling sexy and wanting to tap into my sexual force? It has everything to do with that. Sexual energy in the sense of sexual intercourse, for example, moves us into the realm of apana vayu, this down and out to be shared with the world energy. It's the same energy that precedes ejaculation, menstruation, having a baby, it's all that down and out.

You can use your imagination and we can see that as well is happening with my daily elimination. If a person is chronically holding, and we could refer to that as constipation, right? If they're constantly holding, that holding is not going to enable them to tap into that letting go that's really required when we're making love. It's this ultimate act of surrender and feeling like I can let go into the arms of the beloved. I know it may seem simple, but actually shifting your digestive system around, and your elimination patterns, can really have a dramatic effect on libido.

There's this correlation there. Another powerful practice for tapping into sexual energy is to actually go, take your mind, to go into this area of the body where we house our sexual energy, first, second chakra area, both for men and women, and spend time there. One of the exercises that I ask my students and clients and even friends to do is to just put your hands on your womb area, on your root chakra area, even back behind you on your tailbone, and to feel that you can breathe and be, even almost make love to that part of your body, and to spend time exploring what is sitting there. We so often lose connection to this realm of the body, particularly if we've suffered some type of trauma there. I believe that all of us have undergone at least some form of a traumatic experience just in the culture that we live in currently.

So, bringing our awareness here for many of us initially might feel a little bit uncomfortable. You may feel some holding patterns. You may have old memories arise, but really moving the awareness into your pelvic floor, into the low belly, is one of the best ways for tapping into this second chakra in particular energy of the Creator. The second chakra in particular is where we house all the energies of rest, rejuvenation, regeneration. Right?

The same energy here that in women and men goes to the creation of another being can be utilized for the regeneration and rejuvenation of this individual being. Spending time meditating here, clearing the blocks to that radiance will be helpful, and just tapping into your natural sense of sensuality, vitality, and health. Another wonderful practice is to work with a very simple mantra, and the mantra is Som - S, O, M. You may have heard of this word in Sanskrit, soma. Soma means body, the nectar of the physical incarnation.

Chanting this mantra, Som, Som, Som, brings me into a relationship with the vibrational aspect of my body. When I chant it, you may be surprised to see, if you do it for a little bit of an extended period of time, what actually arises. You may have emotion arise. You may have old memory arise. When I begin to take my attention into the fabric of the physicality, and clear the way for that natural soma, nectar, to emerge and run through.

These are just a couple of small techniques that ayurveda offers us on working with our natural vitality, sensuality, and sexuality. I wish you all the best with this practices.