The Fertile Darkness

Welcome, happy winter solstice. This practice is designed to nourish the fertile darkness. And when we nourish the fertile darkness, we can feel more inspired by what is born. We'll incorporate elements of yin and yang. We'll stay pretty low to the ground and then we'll end with a seated meditation.

Happy to be together. Find yourself in child's pose at the end of your mat. Knees touching if that feels good, big toes touching if that feels good, modify appropriately. Snuggle down and in, let your chest find your thighs, let your forehead find the earth. Big deliberate inhale, exhale let it happen.

Let yourself wobble a little side to side, snuggling in. What I find here is that as I settle in, I find different adjustments need to happen like all of a sudden I need to kind of lengthen out through my spine a little bit more and let your forehead come back down towards the earth. And you're looking for a spot where you can settle somewhat and begin to tune a little bit more to the gentle fall of the exhale and the resulting rise of the inhale. Feel how as you exhale, you're received by your thighs, the earth allows you to move a little closer. Inhale as you allow for the inhale, there's a natural rise and a movement away from the earth.

Just a few more moments here, of course if this is at all uncomfortable in the knees or the hips or other joints, adjust. And wait for that moment when you really feel settled and then only once you've really found that sense of settling, then draw the chin into your chest and slowly start to roll back up, Vajrasana, sitting on your heels, soft in the belly, let your heart brighten, let your shoulders roll back and down. And now start to pay attention to finding the alignment of your skull, finding the alignment of the skull where you're not so aware of her, wide at the base of the skull, domed in the upper palate, soft in the lips, kind in the eyes. Two moments here, being aware of that gentle fall of the exhale and resulting rise of the inhale, beautiful, only once you feel like you've found this, start to join me on to all fours, spreading the fingers wide, heels of the palms right underneath the shoulders as you're ready, let an inhale arch the spine and let an exhale round the spine. And let an inhale arch the spine, rolling the pelvis forward, shoulders roll back and heart lifts and as you exhale, curling the sit bones under, letting the back body widen.

A few more like this, letting it feel good, starting to really move with your breath, letting the inhale arch, letting the exhale round, at least one more. You might have a different pace, trust your pace as while we're here together, if you're not moving how you like to move, then there's no relationship, there's no conversation. Next time you're in the exhale, stay in the round, curl your sit bones under, wiggle on back. As your hands are scooching out in front of you a little bit, as you reach your hands out in front of you, start to get a sense of really spreading the fingers wide, pressing back through the hips, as the forehead maybe makes her way towards the earth, beautiful. From here, let an inhale bring you back up onto all fours, nice, let the right foot find her way forward between the hands, now as the right foot finds her way forward, snuggle back through that left knee a little bit, introduce yourself, inhale, draw back slightly, exhale, sink in, do that a few more times, inhale, draw back, and exhale, sink in, at least one or two more times, what you're doing is you're just kind of getting the body used to the idea, okay, and then next time you sink in, we're going to hang out here for a little bit, so let that left sit bone draw under, bring the top of the left foot to the floor, let a little bit of a happen, sometimes you might feel a little bit of a catch in that front right thigh, if this instruction makes sense, let the right sit bone get heavy and let your awareness in the right outer hip, like let her soften, soften the throat, soften the eyes, the play here is to start to let yourself sink, it's like honoring that quality of the exhale, and as you really honor the quality of the exhale, that, then there becomes a little bit more intimacy with the moment of the inhale, okay, now I have both my hands on the outside of my right foot, but if anatomically it would feel better for you to bring both hands on the inside, then that's what you do, okay, yeah, if it's uncomfortable to have your knee like this on the earth, then it's appropriate to put some padding, okay, nice, just a handful more moments here, you're sinking in, you're soft in the jaw, you're kind in the eyes, domed in the upper palate, and then we're going to transition to what sometimes gets called pigeon, sometimes swan, you're going to back off a little bit, you're going to toe heel this right foot over, okay, and then you're going to start to come forward letting this right hip find her way towards the earth, now if some support underneath that right hip would feel good to do that, wobble a little bit from side to side here, let an inhale brighten you, let an exhale sink you in, soft in the jaw, soft in the mouth, and this might be the perfect spot, okay, some of you might accurately and intelligently and wisely choose to stay right here, okay, only if it feels good, then you might let your elbows come forward, okay, you might rest here, if you start to get caught up in the heart, if you can feel the inhale start to get caught, then that's a cue that ambition has gotten ahold of you, and the play there is to really let the exhale like soften, sink, okay, domed in the upper palate, wide in the base of the skull, kind in the eyes, I like to usually keep my palms turned up, we've talked about this before, palms down tends to for me has a quality of I can, I'll make my way through this, palms up always has this more tender receptive quality, which is one of the qualities associated with the darkness, this receptivity, this fertility, this potentiality, yeah, some of you might stay here, some of you might dip in a little lower, you might have your head on some support, just a handful more moments here, beautiful, when you feel like you've had enough, hands come under the shoulders, come on back up, and we're going to transition into revolving head to knee pose, so start to spin towards the left, extend the left leg out, sole the right foot to the inner thigh, snuggled in a little bit, big deliberate inhale, exhale let it happen, soft in the belly, wide in the base of the skull, let this left hand find her way down towards the left leg, circle the right arm in front of your face and up, soften the right elbow so the shoulder rolls back and down, let the left elbow bend as much as feels good, and just kind of remember when we were rounding and arching the spine, can you find that here too, so inhale and as you exhale, like round the spine a little bit, like curl the sitbones under it and feel that stretch come into the upper back and as you inhale, roll the pelvis forward and draw the heart open, nice, as you exhale round, and as you inhale, arch, okay do that a few more times, like let that feel good, so as you round, you're curling the sitbones under, you're going to get into that upper back and as you arch, you're going to roll the pelvis forward and you're going to open, now many of you might stay right here just depending on the particular anatomy you're playing with today, some of you might dip it in a little bit lower, now feel the breath in this right side, breathe into this right lung, like feel the quality of the inhale and the quality of the exhale, and now can you do the same thing on the left lung, so can you bring a little bit more awareness into the left side, the underbelly, like feel the inhale, nice, and feel the exhale, let it reach just a little bit more with that right hand, again this might be enough, some of you might be dipping lower, excellent, take a look down at the left foot, let an inhale bring you all the way back up and pause and sit, and like sit with what is now available to you, like sit with what is now more accessible, let the upper palate dome, like the more you start to be able to catch the sweetness and hang out with it, the more you're starting to be more at ease with being in a state of meditation which we can define meditation as wide open awareness, okay, super nice, now we're gonna transition back through the shape of pigeon all the way to child's pose, so you roll back over to the right, back onto the top of that left foot and then make your way back into child's pose, both knees in line with each other and wiggle on back, forehead towards the floor and wobble, nice, inhale, come up onto all fours, let your body arch, and then let your body around, let your body come back to neutral other side, so this time it's the left foot forward and through for me, that may be the side you're also on, sink in and then introduce yourself, so inhale draw back a little bit and exhale sink in, and inhale draw back a little bit and exhale sink in, okay, what you're doing here, we've talked a lot about this, okay, this willingness to move in and out, it allows the body to know that there's an exit route and therefore it's more willing to relax, so as you sink in, okay, you let the right sit bone heavy, I like to bring the top of the right foot to that floor, soft in the mouth, soft in the jaw, this instruction may or may not make sense, relax the floor of the pelvis, okay, and sometimes you can feel like a bunching in the side that's being compressed, so can you let that left sit bone get heavy, uh-huh, press a little bit into the outer pinky pad of that left toe, that will help create a slight external rotation, okay, I'm hanging out with both my hands on either side of that left foot, again as we explored on the other side, maybe it's both hands on the inside of that foot, and you're just like you're allowing the shape to have you, part of the darkness is surrender, it's really hard to fall asleep unless you're willing to, okay, like rest is a participatory thing, okay, like everything is a relationship, including ease, like ease requires your willingness, most people have an understanding of wanting to be less stressed, but we resist relaxing, okay, so upper palate domes, kind in the eyes, easy in the jaw, nice, softer in the shoulders, not much longer now, okay, super, now we're transitioning to that shape of pigeon or swan, you're gonna back off a little bit, you're gonna toe heel this left foot over, and you're gonna sink towards that version of pigeon or swan, again you might have some support underneath that left hip, we have so many great clips on this side of different ways to do pigeon, particularly like Jules Mitchell's lesson in season 2 of Anatomy for Yogis, okay, so snuggle in, big deliberate inhale and exhale, let it happen, okay, so kind in the eyes, and right about here, this might be enough, and if you're struggling, you'll know you're struggling because your face will tell you, you would be like, okay, so let your face be your dashboard instrument, soft in the mouth, kind in the eyes, stay right here, or and only if you feel invited, okay, let your elbows come forward, okay, palms might turn up as I've suggested, or they might do something different, so soft in the floor of the pelvis, and the play is, it's this quality of surrender, this quality of like disentanglement, okay, this willingness to find out what might occur, okay, like part of the creative process is like a key part of the creative process for something to truly be creative, you can't actually know what's gonna be born, it has to be just as much a surprise to you as everybody else, nice, now these are shapes, you know, these lunges and these pigeons, these are shapes that can be held for much longer than we're holding today together, and so you can take this pattern and increase the time here as you desire, okay, just a few more moments, beautiful, okay, hands underneath the shoulders, chin into the chest, roll on up, now remember we're revolving head to knee pose, we're gonna turn to the right, we're gonna extend the right leg out and bring that left foot in that right inner thigh, big deliberate inhale here, exhale, soften the low belly, wide at the base of the skull, the right hand's gonna come down onto the right leg and you're gonna circle the left arm up, now soften the left elbow so the shoulder rolls back and down, okay, this right elbow might bend a little bit so you deepen the situation and then inhale here, exhale, get round, inhale, roll the pelvis forward and arch, exhale, get round, inhale, roll the pelvis forward and arch, you know, maybe one, two, or three more times like that, you're just like, you're getting a sense of rounding and widening the back and then you're getting a sense of rolling the pelvis forward and opening up that front body, okay, nice, now I'm suggesting that perhaps you roll that body open and then begin to move into the shape but you might prefer to move into it more in the rounded shape, now like feel the breath up in this upper left lung, feel that quality of inhale and feel that softening in the exhale and then can you also bring that awareness in this right side, in the underside, yes, beautiful, beautiful, soft in the eyes, domed up in the upper palate, some of you might be dropping in a lot deeper, some of you might be dropped in a little less, it's a play of you with you, yes, super nice, beautiful, now eventually as you feel ready take a look down at the right leg and let an inhale bring you all the way back up and pause and pause long enough to really feel the opportunity, make it good at sitting with aspects of self, excellent, now remember the transition is back through the shape of pigeon so we're going to roll to the left, sending that left knee towards the front of the mat and then you're going to find your way all the way back to child's pose, big alarm back, beautiful, so this first part of the section was honoring that lower body a little bit, we're going to start to play more with opening up a little bit of the back and the front body, we're going to start that out with what my friend Carrie is always called puppy, lift up through the hips, slide your hands forward, nose along through the index fingers and pull the sit bones back, letting that heart hang, now how far that heart hangs really depends on you, I need to let my elbows bend a little bit, wrap my shoulders and then as I draw the sit bones back I need to use one of my ankles to like root down the other one, forehead might come to the floor as you lengthen a little bit, if you're of the spaghetti western variety your chin might come to the floor but no need to rush it, root through the index finger and lengthen, beautiful, so nice, slow, slow to get out of there, ground the back, curl the sit bones under, slide the hands back, slide them all the way back in line with the sacrum, interlace the fingers, start to kind of wiggle the shoulders back and down and wobble a little side to side as you stretch your arms up towards the sky, like just kind of like lean a little from side to side, super nice, slow let the hands come back to the hips, let them come all the way back out in front of you, let any now bring you up onto all fours and we're going to make our ways for a lunge again, this time a little bit more active, right foot comes forward in between, sinking in, press down through the top of that left foot, curl the right sit bone under so it's a little bit more active now, so stay low if you prefer, otherwise hands up onto that front right knee, curl the sit bones under let your heart, yes, if this is enough you stay right here, if it would feel okay reach your arms out to the side, rotate your shoulders forward, bring the hands behind you in interlace, now wiggle the shoulders back and down, stretch through the hands, let the heart open, let that left thigh sink, beautiful, wobble, nice, releasing the arms, let it inhale, reach the arms up and let an exhale bring your hands back down to the front right thigh, now draw the hips back for a moment because it will feel good, stretch through that right leg, flex the foot slightly, let the right knee bend, step back child's pose, knees come together and wiggle, let an inhale bring you back up onto all fours, let the left foot come forward, now sink in, top of the right foot presses, now again if you prefer to stay low, then you stay low, draw the right sit bone under, press through the right top of the foot, bring the hands up onto the left knee, only as is appropriate, sinking in, again stay here if you prefer, otherwise reach the arms out, rotate the shoulders forward bring your hands behind you, if you remember interlace with the weird knuckle on top so it feels like you have someone else's hands, wiggle the shoulders back and down, curl the right sit bone under, feel that up through the heart and pay attention to the breath, feel how the exhale drops you in, feel how the inhale lifts you up, super nice, softer in the eyes, I've chosen to have my hands back down towards that back leg, you might be choosing to reach them more actively back, find out what you're doing, when you find out what you're doing, then you notice what kind of yoga works for you, release the fingers, inhale arms up, exhale hands come back down around the left foot, now back it off a little bit, stretch back through that left leg, dig the heel in a little bit because it will feel good, and then inhale come on up, let that front left knee bend, step back child's pose, wiggle, beautiful, let's find our way onto our belly, slide forward, come all the way onto your belly, hands start right underneath the shoulders, legs come behind you, roll your shoulders up and around the ears and back and down, begin to feel the breath help the heart lift, so feel the buoyancy of the inhale and then let yourself hang out there on the exhale, feel that buoyancy of the inhale and let yourself kind of hang out there on the exhale, bend the knees, lift up through the thighs and then slowly start to stretch back through the legs, wobble a little side to side and some of you are going to wisely choose to stay here using the hands for support and really feel that buoyancy of the inhale and that ease in the exhale, some of you are going to start to reach your fingertips back, stretch through the fingertips, lift up through the arms, lift up through the backs of the legs, beautiful, inhale here, exhale lower down, bring one of your ears down to the floor, bend your knees and wobble the legs a little side to side, makes one more like that, let the legs come behind you, let the hands come under the shoulders, squeeze your shoulders up and around the ears and roll them back and down, feel the inhale give rise to the lift of the heart, feel the exhale soften you, bend the knees, lift up through the thighs, as you lift up through the thighs start to stretch back through the legs, keep the hands where they are or choose to release them back behind you, wobble a little bit, lift up through the backs of the arms and lift up through the heart, many of you are going to keep your hands right here, some of you might experiment with interlacing the fingers, wiggling the shoulders back and down and then reach back through the arms as you reach through the legs, twinkle your toes, inhale here, exhale lower and land opposite ear to the earth, bend the knees, wobble the legs a little side to side, pretty, hands underneath the shoulders, tuck the toes under, get round, curl under, let a little bit of a happen, nice, now that might have been enough low back work for you, in the interest of just exploring a little bit of that honoring of the birth of the sun, we'll make our way towards an ustrasana camel, curl the chin into the chest and roll up sitvajrasana, so again if the low baby backbends were enough maybe just repeat those or you can even add a bow post on your ursana, otherwise come up onto your knees, I like to tuck my toes under because I like my heels to be a little higher, I'm going to just do a little costume adjustment, inhale here and as you exhale let a happen and soften, like remember that quality that you found in the lunges and the pigeons, inhale and exhale, I like to bring the hands onto the waist, press down a little bit through the hands and start to feel your heart blossom, really let the breath assist you here and some of you might just make the most sense to stay right here, feeling that lift up through the inhale and that softening through the exhale, the way I like to get into camel lately is circle the left arm up and watch the left arm come back as she finds that left heel, pause, hold onto the left heel as you feel the heart lift, maybe even bring your right hand up onto that heart, only if it feels correct, circle the right arm up and back and find the right heel with the hand, holding onto the heels, feeling that rise in the inhale and that fall in the exhale, keeping the chin towards the chest if that feels good, generally that's safer on the neck, some of you are going to feel that heart bloom a little bit more, some of you are going to be inclined to start to let the throat open, a few of you might be inclined to start to let the head fall back but it's not necessary, breathe and here you are, can you really feel the bottom of the exhale and the rise of the inhale, okay when you are ready to come out, what I like to do is lean back a little bit, hunch the shoulders slightly and then bring the chin up and then from there as you are ready release the hands, come on back up, release the feet back to the floor, sit back down and then pause, Vajrasana again knees together one hand and the other on the lap and just like soak, like feel what's happened in your breath, feel what's happened in your body, yes and now you choose, some of you it might be nice to just hang here and kind of like take a longer hit off this, some of you might find child's pose at this point, that might feel the best, okay so you choose if you want to just kind of hang in the stimulation a little longer or find child's pose, I'm just gonna sit here a little longer and enjoy the effect, okay nice, if you're in child's now roll back up to sitting Vajrasana and we'll meet for a spinal twist, shift on to the left hip, bring that right foot over and across, left knee is forward, right foot across, hold on to the right knee, big deliberate inhale here, exhale everything, let it happen in ground, feel how the inhale helps brighten the front of the heart and feel how the exhale helps support the back of the heart, wide in the base of the skull, domed up in the upper palate, hang here until you really feel even in the breath and then only as you're ready wrap this left elbow around the right knee, bring this right hand behind, let the inhale brighten and as you exhale let yourself twist and let the inhale brighten and let the exhale twist and domed up in the upper palate and kind in the eyes, yes, beautiful, soften the throat, now keep that upper body twisted, inhale here and as you exhale just let your gaze and your head and your neck come back first and take a look over that left shoulder, nice, then let the rest of you follow, inhale here, exhale upper back, mid back and low back, switch legs, lean back, snuggle in, hands on the left knee, wait for that clarity of alignment, so like feel that generous brightness up through the front of the body and the inhale and feel that support on the back body of the exhale, domed in the upper palate, kind in the eyes, only as you're ready wrap, left hand comes behind, let the inhale brighten, let the exhale twist you, let the inhale brighten, let the exhale twist you, like soft in the throat and kind in the eyes, yes, beautiful, okay now keep that upper body twisted, inhale here and as you exhale let the gaze lead, let the rest of your head and neck follow and take a look over the right shoulder, nice, inhale here and as you exhale upper back, mid back, low back and pause, beautiful, release the legs perhaps and just do a Baddha Konasana and let yourself round over and I'm going to suggest that we move into a seat together, you have a different plan, you could find that, you might want to be in this rounded shape, letting the spine round, letting the head drop for a little longer, only once you feel settled you'll let yourself roll back up and find a comfortable seat, I'm going to let my heels find their way in with each other, okay snuggle in, big deliberate inhale, exhale let it happen, soft in the belly, again find that brightness in the heart and the width on the back body, wide in the base of the skull, domed up in the upper palate and again so in this in this idea that we've been talking about a little bit together in the intro and then just a tiny bit through this practice, this idea that things are born in the dark and so today on this darkest day do you know what it is that you're giving birth to, do you know what it is that you perhaps want to give birth to, because be aware you're giving birth, sit here for longer if you'd like otherwise hands find each other at the center of your heart, namaste.