Day 9: Our True Nature

Meditation

And any impression of self-importance is obviously rather stupid and ridiculous in the presence of these large forces and the vastness of the universe. So we try to connect with our breathing so that it further helps relaxation. And then today we will try to understand a very important principle that every important feeling or emotion that we experience actually has a very deep effect on our whole organism. It changes our body at a cellular level, but we can more easily experience that by seeing the shift in the quality of our breathing. Simply to focus our attention, this morning we will recall a very ancient text in India called Shatapatha Brahmana.

And one of the very important remarks in that is that as soon as a person is born, one is indebted to many things. One is indebted to the devas. Just to remind you again, devas could be more or less like angels, but these refer to subtler levels of reality in the universe. Also inside us. So for the moment we try, how do I express my gratitude to these subtle and conscious forces or energies, the devas which have brought me about?

So take a few moments, what is the feeling of gratitude and then to watch? How does it actually affect my organism? Especially, does it bring about tension somewhere or do I feel more relaxed? Only in the areas where we often feel deep emotions, in the area around the navel, near the biological heart. In previous ones what we sometimes call gut feelings or the other ones, my heart is touched and sometimes we have also emotions that the throat is choked, so to watch.

And I wish to feel a deep gratitude for the very fact of my existence. Where do I actually feel this? Even always a call towards more and more sensitivity to my own body. And does this feeling of gratitude affect my breathing? In all of these undertakings, not to conclude, but to explore, to remain open to the possibility that as my exploration deepens, I would feel differently or more intensely than I do now.

So no need to bring a conclusion. According to the text that I mentioned, the Shatapat brahmana, the second debt which it is said, the moment we are born we have this debt. That is a debt to the sages, because the sages bring to us grand teachings, something that they have directly understood or experienced, and they invite us to see if we can also understand this. Now in our contemporary world we don't need to be limited to the sages just in our own culture. Still think of one sage, it could be mythological or historical, if you are fortunate you may have met somebody who you regard a sage and bring intentionally a sense of gratitude for his or her, or if you think of plurality of sages, their teaching.

And watch how it affects your breathing and where in the organism does it more reflect or is more sensed by you, the feeling connected with this gratitude. Then the other debt that this text speaks about is the debt to our society or culture for bringing us a language that we use or works of art, works of music. We did not create any of this. So expressing our gratitude, sometimes it's easier if one thinks in terms of a particular piece of music or a work of art or a particular expression in the language, a poem that creates more feeling for us. And watch, where do you actually experience this?

Then the one more debt that this text speaks about is the debt to the ancestors, particularly the parents. gratitude for the mere fact that I was given birth by my parents. Worship. Now, we take a couple of breaths and then a general gratitude to all of these four entities mentioned by this text. Again a simple reminder to the devas, to the sages, to the society and to the ancestors. Take a couple of breaths and generally being grateful.

Thank you.

Talk

Here again the most profound of all mysteries, the supreme world. You are my beloved with a steadfast heart. Therefore, I will speak to you for your good. Fix your mind on me. This is Krishna saying, be my lover and worshipper. Sacrifice to me, bow to me, you will come to me. This is my firm pledge to you for you are dear to me. So you see again yesterday I tried to emphasize that really Krishna says, as did Christ, that I reveal myself to those whom I love. Who do I love? This is an explicit remark of Christ. Those who obey my commandments. Krishna does not so much emphasize obeying his commandments, but if you have understood what I am teaching, then you would naturally follow what I am teaching. And therefore, this remark that now you bring all your attention to the very highest level. Krishna by this time has already indicated or tried to manifest his real nature. I think I made this remark a few days back that very few people in the Mahabharata were aware of Krishna's real nature. And that this is not surprising because to know the real nature of anybody, we need to know our own real nature. This is why I gave the example that even Christ's own mother was not aware of his real nature. And John the Baptist whose whole mission was to really more or less announce the coming of Christ. When Christ comes towards him, he doesn't recognize him. And then he is actually indicated the way it is put that the Holy Spirit as a bird descends on him, on Christ. Therefore, John the Baptist becomes aware that this is the person he's supposed to be proclaiming. So in a way, this idea is a very deep one that Arjuna could not actually know the real nature of Krishna until he himself is radically transformed. To know the real nature of anybody, I need to know my own real nature. Again, a very simple reminder. This is actually from St. Paul. Eyes of the flesh see the things of the flesh, eyes of the spirit, things of the spirit. So if I know my own spiritual nature, then I can look at others from those eyes from that level, then I can see their spiritual nature. Otherwise, I can just see the fleshly nature of somebody. If that's where I am, only the eyes of the flesh. So this is a very large idea in general. Let me continue with the fourth shloka, which is regarded as very important. And here, this is what Krishna actually says, abandon all dharmas and take refuge in me alone. I will deliver you from all evil. Do not be troubled. Now, this can be said only at the end of the teaching. Remember, initially, Krishna has been very much emphasizing, follow your dharma.

You are a warrior by nature. Therefore, bring your warrior nature to struggle. Don't give up, etc. But then, as earlier, only yesterday, we spoke about that those who are accomplished yogis can give up action. But otherwise, in order to accomplish yoga, you need to undertake action. So here, by the end, Krishna is saying, you can leave all dharmas aside. Now, dharma, as I mentioned earlier, also has many meanings. In this context, there are two different meanings that need to be attended to. One is, whatever is the action he would have undertaken, he can leave that aside. Krishna will take care of everything. Secondly, dharma also means support. We are always relying on something or the other. And so, leave all those supports aside. Come only to Krishna. That the main contribution of Krishnamurti was frustration, which created a bit of a confusion for all the hierarchy of the Krishnamurti Foundation. But then I try to find out, what does it mean? That he will, especially in one-on-one conversation, he will block all the usual exits, all the usual supports. Well, that's what the Gita says, or that's what you said in your own talk yesterday, or in your book. He'll say, you can burn those books. I haven't read the Gita. Or if you refer to the Bible, I haven't read the Bible, even though I can assure you he has read it. But the idea was to block all the exits which one usually takes. So that then sometimes, it didn't always happen, but sometimes one was able to levitate. One doesn't need the usual exits of walking out. One can actually fly. That took, it happened occasionally, largely because of his own presence, but also because one is willing to actually give up all these supports. That's what Krishna is actually inviting us to do here, abandon all dharma and take refuge in Me alone. Now, there are few ideas which I have not had time to really dwell on, so I'm now going to take two or three words to draw your attention to. They are intimately related with each other, three words. One is swabhav, which can be more or less translated as essential being or my inner nature. So what is my swabhav? And the reason for emphasizing this word is that Krishna actually says in the Bhagavad Gita that I am seated in everyone as their swabhav, that the essential nature of everybody is Krishna or particle of Krishna. We have tried to emphasize this in slightly different ways earlier. If you recall, I had quoted that everything that exists is a combination of the field and the knower of the field and then Krishna said, I am the knower of the field in all fields. So that means Krishna is there in everything. And repeatedly he says in the Bhagavad Gita, I am in the seated in the heart of everyone, in the mind of everyone, even in the body of everyone. So essentially he is saying that the way to recognize Krishna in each one of us is to first of all to discover our own essential nature. What is our inner being? Then corresponding to that swabhav is the word swadharma, literally meaning corresponding to my true inner nature. What is the corresponding action? What is the corresponding responsibility? Remember dharma means responsibility, duty, obligation. So what is my responsibility corresponding to my deepest being, deepest nature? Then swadharma is the necessary action that corresponds to swadharma. So these three words are very intimately related with each other and I am now simply repeating them swadharma and swadharma. Now here is the remark of Krishna. This is from the 8th chapter, 3rd shloka. The supreme Brahma is imperishable swadhava. The inner being is called Adhyatma, the highest self.

So he of course identifies himself with the supreme Brahma. So Krishna is your deepest swabhav. Then I have this little picture from Michael. This is Michael Angelo's remark. Many people don't realize that Michael Angelo was not only a great artist in the sense of his sculptor but he was a great poet. He actually has quite remarkable poetry and in any case my son had come across this remark of his and he sent it to me. He said, Michael Angelo said I saw an angel in the stone and I chiseled and chiseled until I released him. So our deepest swabhav is the angel in us and the call is how do I release it so that it can gradually come to the level of Krishna's own bhav, what he calls mother bhav, my being. It's very much related with swabhav. Each one of us has a separate swabhav but if it can be released then it can develop and come to the level of Krishna which is actually the call in the Bhagavad Gita or in any spiritual teaching in India to come to the very highest level to Brahma. Therefore naturally one should not be rushing imagining that it is easy. To emphasize the importance of inner being and the corresponding action, this is a remark of Krishna in the 18th chapter, Shloka's 59 and 60, if in your egoism you think I will not fight, your resolve will be in vain for your nature will compel you. What you do not wish to do because of delusion, O son of Kunti, Kunti was the name of Arjuna's mother, you will do helplessly bound by your own swa karma born of your swabhav. Basic idea, this is actually the root of the caste system in India in a way, now it has become simply by birth. Similarly it has much to do with what is one's inner proclivity, what it is that I am drawn to do. A warrior which is what Arjuna is, his whole undertaking is to fight for justice in the society. This is how he comes to Krishna. Similarly a Shudra which is now the lowest caste if you like, their proclivity is to serve, by service they come to Krishna. Brahmana, their proclivity is to study, to learn, this is how, and to teach, this is how they come to Krishna. And the other caste which is, will be the Brahman, Kshatriya, then we have Vashyas, they are nourishing the society by production and by business. So this is the origin of the caste system. But now just if you are born in a Brahman family, so you are a Brahman. Earlier the idea was that everybody is born without any caste and gradually corresponding to what it is that they are capable of, what they are drawn to, that is their caste. Caste simply really referring to what is their way of coming to the highest reality. Is it through learning? Is it through struggling for justice? Is it through service? It is through nourishing the society? So there are different ways. This is a very important idea also in India.

There is no one single way. I have tried to say that earlier also that each one of us needs to find our own unique way to come to God. Unique yoga. Then Krishna says, this is the 35th shloka in the third chapter, it is better to follow your own essential responsibility, that is swadharma. Though imperfectly, then another is even if well done. Indeed death in undertaking one's own duty is better. Attempting another's duty is perilous. So this is a very important idea. Therefore to search for what is my swabha and what corresponds to that as my essential responsibility, swadharma, and then what action follows that, swakarma. And this particular remark actually is repeated by Krishna in the 18th chapter and then a slight addition. So I will read that. Now this is shloka's 47 and 48 in the 18th chapter. It is better to follow your own essential responsibility, though imperfectly, than another's even if well done. In undertaking actions regulated by your swadhava, you do not incur evil. O son of Kunti, the inborn work, which is swadharma, ought not to be abandoned, even if it is flawed, for all undertakings are clouded by defects, as fire is by smoke. So whatever undertaking you have has some difficulty, has some defect, as fire by smoke, but still to stay with your own responsibility. I don't have much time to develop this, but quickly to mention that Oppenheimer, the great scientist, who was actually the scientist responsible during the Manhattan Project, which produced the first atom bomb in the world, in the USA. When he actually saw the first atomic explosion, it was not before the bomb was dropped, he actually came out with a shloka from the Bhagavad Gita in Sanskrit. People often don't realize how learned some of these people are, where Krishna actually says that even if a thousand suns were to shine in the sky, their glory, this is when Arjuna sees Krishna's great form, this is what Arjuna actually says, that even if there were a thousand suns in the sky, their glory will not match what he says. This is what, and then Oppenheimer was very much struck by the Bhagavad Gita, and he so much emphasized that it was his essential responsibility to try to struggle for the victory of his country, and that he often referred to this particular shloka. So I mention this here. Later on he got into trouble with Teller because he did not want to develop a hydrogen bomb, so ironically his clearance was even taken back. He was the chief scientist in the development of the atomic bomb. Later on he could not even get access to his own papers, ironically, because his permission or the clearance was denied. It was only JFK, when he became the president, who actually invited him to the White House and cleared his permission again much later, and meanwhile he appointed the, well, really the director of the Institute of Advanced Study. So there is a whole history behind that, but I don't have time to do that. Let me continue here. So very much emphasis on what is my essential responsibility following my own deep inner nature. So I am now reading again from the 18th chapter, 45 and 46 shloka. Each human being engaged in their own sukkarma attains perfection. Hear from me now how perfection is found by one who is content in undertaking one's sukkarma. When your sukkarma is in the worship of the one from whom all beings originate and by whom all this is pervaded, you reach perfection. So you see, corresponding to my sukkarma, but the invitation is, is it now oriented towards the highest being? If it is, which in this case we could say Krishna or Brahma, or sometimes another expression is used, Purushottama, the highest being. So three or four different labels. Then this is the very important expression of Krishna. Actually, I find this more or less the summary of the whole of Karma Yoga. Remember, I had earlier said, buddhi yoga being the overarching yoga, then one first of all emphasizes right action, karma yoga, right knowledge, jnani yoga, little bit emphasis on jnani yoga, meditation, then more and more on bhakti yoga, and now in a way, again returning to action, to knowledge, etc. So these are all spiral in nature. This particular shloka is very significant for me personally, so I will actually even mention this in Sanskrit to you here.

Mysarvani karmani sarnesya adhyatma chaitasa nirash nirmamo bhutva yudhyasva vigat jhura, offering all your actions to me, she is Krishna, mindful of your deepest self, without expectation, without self-occupation, struggle, without agitation. This is the thirtieth shloka in the third chapter. Now, it is important for us to stay with some of these ideas because many important ideas are repeated or slight emphasis, but repeated again and again in the Bhagavad Gita. This is not at all unusual. All great teachers, in fact, I often say, I used to say that both Varma Ramdasasman, my own teacher and Krishna Murthy, that in a way I had heard them so often I could really complete the sentence they were going to say, that they are often, I feel, like one-note musicians, one true note they have found, and they are really inviting everybody to listen to that one true note, and naturally the language then gets, those phraseology gets attached with them specifically, and somebody else could say, well, that's not what my teacher says. That is, in my judgment, rather stupid way of approaching these. But to try to understand that each of the teachers naturally emphasizes some specific mode of speaking partly because of their own background, and then the kind of people to whom they are speaking. They have to use a certain kind of language, and then invariably, you can see this with all the teachers, even mythological ones or historical ones, they are constantly reminding people that they have not quite understood them. Partly because expressions are there, but none of these teachers are trying to express what the kingdom of heaven is like, or what nirvana is like, or what moksha is like. What they are actually trying to teach, how do you come to that level from where you can experience nirvana, from where you can be in the kingdom of heaven. So what they are actually more focusing on is an invitation to undertake certain kind of practice, certain kind of activity, if you like, rather than that they are telling you the way it is, and then you can just stay the way you are, and then get to the kingdom of heaven. None of these teachers are teaching that. It's very important thing to really understand what absolutely all the teachers, whether it's the Buddha or Krishna or Christ, these three I more often mention, but of course, Lao Tse, or really any of the other great teachers you wish to attend to. Each one of them says something, but in order to invite you to undertake some action, otherwise we have a very strong tendency to keep asking, tell me what the kingdom of heaven is, or what nirvana is. Now here I will tell this little story which is very relevant here also. Ananda, who was, if you like, the favorite disciple of the Buddha, said to the Buddha that look, we don't need to know what nirvana is, but people keep asking us, what should we say? This is a very famous story in the Buddhist literature. The Buddha said, if a man was struck by a poisoned arrow, and his friends and relatives gather to take the arrow out, but the man says, until I know whether the arrow came from the east or the west or the south or the north, I would not let the arrow be taken out. Or until I know whether the man who shot the arrow was tall or short or fair colored or dark colored, I would not let the arrow taken out. So the Buddha actually elaborates this very much. He says, Ananda, by the time all these questions are answered, the man will surely die. Therefore tathagat, tathagat is a way of referring to the Buddha himself, literally means one who leaves no trace. Actually literal meaning is one who just comes and goes, thus come. That's the actual meaning of the word tathagat. He says, therefore the tathagat has no theories. All he is emphasizing that there is suffering and what is the cause of suffering and that it is possible to be free of suffering and what is the way to be free of suffering. So therefore he is not describing what nirvana is. Of course, later on the Buddhist scholars and theologians have much to say. This is just like in Christianity, the same thing. And then even there in general, what they say, this is actually true for some great theologians in Christianity as well, that we cannot describe what the kingdom of heaven is or what nirvana is, but what we can possibly say what it is not. Then it ends up what is called the negative theology, what it is not. So the Buddha said it is free of dukkha, free of suffering. That is not describing nirvana, but saying what it is not. So the same kind of thing is here, very much to keep in mind, that the call by Krishna, that nobody can actually first of all come to him without first of all coming to their own deepest self.

And that corresponding to that deepest self, there is the swabhav, that is by deep nature or deep being, very difficult to find one simple translation of these words. And then corresponding to that, there is a certain responsibility, that is my swadharma. And corresponding to that, some actions follow, that is my swadharma. But that until I take on my swadharma, but then dedicate it to the highest Brahma, there is no possibility of anybody coming to Krishna. Otherwise Krishna can't describe what Brahma is. In fact, all the Upanishads, there is a very standard expression in the Upanishads called neti neti, not this, any expression. So Brahma cannot be described, or Krishna cannot be described, and in that sense cannot be rationally known, but very strong idea that one can embody it, one can become part of it, one can, that my individual spirit can merge into the cosmic spirit. These are fairly standard kind of expressions. One of our great poets in India, Kabir, 16th century poet, Sufi poet actually, he remarks that spirit is in the body, body is in the spirit, and the body dies, the spirit is in the spirit. It's all very simple. But if I'm so attached to my body, then I'm stuck with my body. So actually the analogy he uses is that water is in the pail, pail is in the water, and when the bottom of the pail is broken is water in the water. That's the analogy actually he uses. So coming back to the overall teaching here then, we are basically trying to now, more or less trying to summarize some of these things. Very strong emphasis, first of all to search for your own deepest self. Then be drawn to what, first of all to understand what is your swabhav, and then the call is can my swabhav, which is already a particle of Krishna, can it now enhance in its quality and can come to the level of Krishna, mother bhav. And that requires, first of all offering all my actions to Krishna, but remaining mindful of my deepest self. And then there is another idea which is very strongly emphasized. In fact in very first day in meditation, I tried to mention that, that we have many emotional tensions. Usually we tend to think of something like negative things like anxiety or worry or resentment, but expectation is also an emotional tension. If I am expecting some particular kind of result, then I don't actually stay fully devoted to that action. I am already thinking of the result and whether it will succeed or fail, which is why a very strong suggestion as in this particular shloka that I read earlier, without expectation, that doesn't mean without hope. Sometimes these two words are very close to each other. In Sanskrit the word is asha, which can mean hope. It can also mean expectation. So hope can be a very positive kind of look to something that it is possible for me to engage with this activity. It can assist to deliver me from any bondage that I am connected with. It can be that sort of hope. But expectation has a different meaning. So the remark here is without expectation because that is actually an emotional tension. It tends to fix something in one's emotion and doesn't allow a kind of a freedom. Then, of course, struggle without agitation. Now, struggle could also be, it's the same word, could be battle without agitation. Remember, Krishna on the one hand is also saying that there is a time when one gives up all action and one is sitting in meditation, which I spoke about last time, for example. But in general, the teaching of Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita is in the battlefield, battlefield of life. Again, this is a remark also worth repeating again and again. All the sages in India have taken this battle to be an internal battle. My own tendencies towards good and bad, which is one of the reasons why we need this transformation. I think I have, I don't now recall whether in this course I have given this quotation from St. Paul that I don't even acknowledge myself. He says, I do what I do not wish to do. I do not do what I wish to do. And this is, I think if we genuinely look at ourselves, we have very good ideas. We decide to do very wonderful things, but then we find ourselves not doing them. After all, every human being, even what we would call most evil, really in their own eyes wishes to do good. But they end up doing evil. Why? Because of a lack of internal integration. What their mind says or knows, the body does not agree with. So what they end up doing is not what they think is the right thing to do. So we need to therefore always come back to this again and again, that struggle is an internal struggle. And also, as I said, according to all the sages who have commented on the Bhagavad Gita, at least in India, they have all taken the, also the conversation or the dialogue between Krishna and Arjuna as an internal dialogue between my usual self, my usual level and the deepest self. Now there one also needs to be always very careful. In practice, we should think in terms of towards Krishna rather than Krishna as if there is only one fixed level. For us to come to our deepest level itself is a large undertaking. And sometimes one can see this in meditation, one can feel a little quieter and hearing something from a little deeper level. But deeper doesn't mean the deepest. Always allow the possibility that the journey is endless. Then one begins to be more and more interested in the journey rather than what one imagines the end to be. Because the end, we could name it Brahma or God or Krishna or Christ, but we don't really know what God is. We don't really know what Brahma is. We have heard things. We can quote text and therefore even have some slight feeling for it. But it still remains absolutely unknown because if even Christ or the Buddha can't describe what nirvana is, how can I describe what Brahma is? But we can have a direction. So keeping that in mind that when the journey itself becomes more interesting, then there is a different kind of joy that accompanies the journey. Otherwise, if I'm so concerned exclusively somehow with the destination with God, you can be guaranteed it will always lead to a failure of the mind because it cannot really directly experience this. But it is possible, all the great sages say that eventually sometimes it is possible to experience something. But even the very greatest sages are not always in touch with the highest level. Actually it is said, the Buddha said he has to renew himself every morning. This is the remark of the Buddha. Therefore, when we say struggle without agitation, it does not have to be taken completely externally that I am in the battlefield. Of course, that's the major metaphor chosen here. Therefore, Krishna naturally would call him the tormentor of the foes or many other words or a great warrior, mighty armed, many such expressions. That is really to indicate again and again that Arjuna's essential nature is a warrior to struggle, fight for justice. But when we look at it internally, can I be the warrior of the spirit? Fighting for internal justice meaning, internal right order. So let me therefore suggest to you a task if you like or a homework or an

Homework

Certainly all religious teachers will actually say that in one way or the other. But that does not mean that we have to be against the world. But how do I find my true nature? So swabhav, swadharma, swa karma. Thank you very much.