An Instrument of Krishna

I often struggle with thinking that I'm the doer that it's up to me and that the weight of the world is on my shoulders and so how to shift from the doer to an instrument of Krishna. Well as you probably know that actually in the Bhagavad Gita Krishna actually says this is the direct quote, a yogi realizes that I do nothing at all. That doesn't mean that one is not acting, really the question really is am I doing things to essentially enhance myself meaning my prestige, my wealth or my recognition or my importance. All that is finally in the general domain of self-will. That doesn't mean that one should not have a will which ultimately results in action but the question is can I begin to more and more here why have I been brought here by what forces, what energies because or in a way what am I. If I regard myself essentially this person whose photograph can be taken and who has certain desires and wishes then that is clearly going to die in a few decades. It's actually designed to die. So then in a way in one form or the other practically all spiritual teachings say that and Krishna in any case explicitly says this that a particle of himself takes on a body for the purpose of evolution of that particle of divinity because Krishna himself is manifesting at many levels. Every level is ultimately Krishna but manifested at different levels. So all those different levels are as it were wishing to return to the original level of Krishna or the highest level of Krishna. So that particle of Krishna, particle of divinity we may call it spirit or soul that has taken on this body. If I can begin to hear it more and more often that is more to do with feeling rather than a mental clarity about it or at least initially then gradually certain things begin to make more sense to you or they resonate more deeply with your heart and usually it is in the direction of more awareness, more feeling of oneness with the others which then manifest maybe as love or as compassion, more willing or wish to serve something that is subtle or helpful. This is the direction not to imagine that one is at the end of this. So then one begins to hear whispers sometimes. Sometimes it's very clear that this is what I need to do. This more speaks to my heart and that can serve something which I feel is worth serving. In a way we are always, none of us can keep our body or keep our mind or keep our whatever our bank account may be. It's all going to be used for something. So all of this is being used. The question really is where we begin to feel is being used for something which begins to make more sense to us. So the direction really is beginning to listen to that more and more. Then one carries that out. So it's not that suddenly everything, it's not a ripe flower right away, it's a seed which gradually grows. And then what you're doing is not so much your own will but your will is also required, your action is required, even your ego is required. After all this body, mind, body, everything is actually the instrument. So therefore it is silly to be against the instrument. The instrument needs to be sharpened, to be cleaned so that it can actually help, so that it can become the right instrument. So nothing about lack of energy or lack of vigor or even strong, even strong ego is required as certain actions. But is it actually serving something? And so I am personally very much helped even by some remarks of my teacher Madam DeSaulsman. Ego is a good servant but a bad master. So can my ego actually become a good servant? Or is it just going to be lording over everybody? But I see sometimes that also takes over in my case. I have to be careful.